Derailed

This past week has a been a doozy! I spent several days throwing up everything I tried to eat accompanied by horribly intense stomach pain. I went to the doctor and had more blood work done. They've scheduled a stomach biopsy for me to try to get more answers. Because I was so sick and not getting all my other medications, my body started a withdrawal process and I was even more nauseated! I was so sick, in fact, that I couldn't even sit at the computer to blog! (Now you KNOW it's bad!! LOL)

Then our newest cat, Angel, got worms! I started getting paranoid, wondering if I got worms from the cat!! We washed all the bedding and wiped everything down with Lysol wipes, took her to the Vet... She got a shot and the Vet assured us that what she has is not transferable to humans, so I could relax. ;o)

I went to church yesterday morning, feeling pretty well. The service was excellent!! The sermon was perfect for everything I have been feeling lately. I often feel like our pastor is talking directly to me! God is so amazing in the way that He speaks to us!!

Jason was on duty so I took the boys out to lunch at a new Panda Express by our church. We went to a friend's house, I visited with the parent while the kids played and then took James to church for youth group. It was pouring down rain and the streets were literally flooding!

When I got home, I sat down to write a blog, so moved by the morning's message, and it took off in so many different directions. I was trying to rein myself back in, focus it a little better and make sure I was getting my own message across clearly for all of you. While I was taking a break last night, I got some news that completely threw me off track. That was it: Derailed.

I found out that someone made a very, VERY bad decision that will ultimately affect my family. This person has a long history of making poor choices and continues to repeat mistakes and not make changes to their behavior. Now we (my family) will be affected, yet again.

If you know me, you know that I am VERY protective of my family! You do NOT mess with my family!

When I found out last night I was irate! I don't even think irate is the right word. Is there a word that means more mad than irate? Infuriated? Outraged? REALLY TICKED OFF!!! After a few seconds, when the news set in, I realized that it had implications for us, and I began to get scared. When that fear set in, I got even more mad! How could this happen? How could this person be so stupid? AGAIN?? At what point to you WAKE UP and realize that what you're doing IS NOT working?? Ugh!

Outside of what it will mean to my immediate family, this person's decision has major implications for other people, which was the cause of my original anger, concern and frustration. Some people just never grasp the concept of the "ripple effect". This decision will also have lasting and damaging repercussions for their own life. It upsets me on SO many levels.

Jason, God bless him, keeps reassuring me that everything will be alright. WE will be alright. This will not effect us as much as it seems right now. I love him, and I am SO thankful that he's in my life.

I've had all night to digest the news. And I did. All night long I thought about this situation and how there is absolutely nothing I can do except give it to God and ask Him to deal with it on everyone's behalf. This morning I am still mad. I am still worried. I am still trying to accept that there is nothing I can do, for us or anyone else involved. :o/ I don't like that. I am a "do'er". I do things, and fix stuff, and solve problems... but not this time. I have to wait, pray, and let God handle it.

So, if you are also the praying kind, please put in a good word for me and my family... and also for the person who keeps making poor choices. I have prayed for this person a LOT and will continue to do so. I hope that one day they will realize the impact of their decisions. This time it was a HUGE mistake and may already be too late.



P.S. I will finish my blog from yesterday and post it soon. ;o)