One Day At A Time

You know when you get hit in the gut, and the wind gets knocked out of you... those few moments, when you are standing (or laying) there in limbo, waiting for breath to come... those moments seem like an eternity!

Have you ever had that happen? Has anything ever just knocked the wind out of you? Maybe physically, or emotionally? I've experienced both.

When I was about 10, my brothers and I were at my great-grandparent's house in Findley Lake, New York. We loved to play outside! We were playing baseball one day and I stood a little too close to my middle brother as he swung the bat around. He caught me right under the ribs, full swing, and POW! I was down on the ground! I will never forget that feeling, waiting for air... waiting... waiting... it felt like forever before I could take a breath! It was awful but I was lucky, no broken bones and I did breathe again!

I have also emotionally had the wind knocked out of me, in hearing unexpected news that took me to my knees. Unfortunately this has happened more than once. In high school I met a boy named Lee. He worked part-time at my aunt and uncle's TV repair shop. We started hanging out after school sometimes, we were both in ROTC, and we soon became good friends. Because he was close to my uncle, we started joking that we were cousins. So, he became my cousin Lee. He joined the Army and moved away after high school but we stayed in touch. He met a girl, fell in love and wanted to marry her. We were all thrilled! One day I got a call from my aunt. Lee was dead. Just like that, he was dead. Dead. I couldn't breathe. My knees buckled and I hit the living room floor. When my breath returned I was sobbing hysterically. Lee had been driving back from seeing his girlfriend. He had just proposed to her that night. He fell asleep on the way back to his base and drove head-on into a tractor-trailer. My cousin Lee was gone forever.

I wish I could say my heart has never been broken, but that would be a lie. Each time, I've felt the wind get knocked out of me to some extent. Each time I get bad news, or sad news, I catch a whiff of that old familiar feeling. This time in my life is no exception.

My middle brother, the "Slugger King" himself, is off to Afghanistan, and I am terrified. If you know me, or have read my previous blogs, you know I am very protective of my brothers. I always have been our whole lives. I am the oldest, we are all two and a half years apart. I love them tremendously, and I worry about them like they are my own children sometimes. He just returned, along with our father, from Iraq. Now the thought of him going to a worse place is almost too much to bear. I will be praying for him daily.

I got some other deeply personal news yesterday that I won't be sharing on here. I'm mentioning it because it needs immediate prayer for tremendous healing, and it pertains to the reason for this blog. If you are so inclined, any and all prayers would be greatly appreciated. This is the time when my family needs to be together, to draw strength from each other. My family will now be divided by continents... once again. My heart is aching and I feel like I can hardly breathe sometimes.

This is where faith comes in. As hard as it is sometimes, I must have faith. There is a reason for all of this, God has a plan, this is under control... I don't understand, but I'm not supposed to. Just because I don't understand doesn't mean I have blind faith. God has never let me down. He has always fulfilled His promises to the world, to all His children. My faith is NOT blind.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. -1 Peter 5:7

I know I use that one a lot, and I often go back to it, because it pertains to my life so much! I am a worrier, and as hard as I try NOT to be, I can't help it, I still worry. I'm working on it. 

Let go and let God. 

Simple. Awesome. True. So why can't I do it? I have so many things going on right now! Actually, it always seems that way to be totally honest. But all we can do it take it one day at a time, learn from our mistakes and hope tomorrow will be a better day. Oh, and don't forget to pray... that is a given! ;o)